It looked familiar.… When media historians discuss the transition from broadcast television to algorithmic entertainment, they sometimes revive an almost forgotten variety-show clip from the late twentieth century. Five celebrities sit behind identical desks. Each receives a brand-new cedar pencil and a simple hand-cranked sharpener. The rules are straightforward. “Three minutes. Whoever makes their pencil the shortest wins a fabulous prize.” The audience laughs. The timer begins. Wood shavings pile up like tiny curls of cinnamon. Hands spin the sharpeners frantically. Some contestants rotate so quickly that the graphite repeatedly snaps, forcing them to sharpen even more aggressively. Others carefully optimize the sharpening angle, unknowingly performing a crude experiment in materials engineering: the fracture toughness of graphite cores, the grain orientation of incense cedar, the trade-off between sharpening speed and structural failure. Three minutes l...