In the flurry of executive actions signed during his first days back in office, President Donald Trump stunned the world with an order renaming the Gulf of Mexico to the Gulf of America and reversing the Obama-era decision to call Mount McKinley Denali. But these changes, though controversial, paled in comparison to the most audacious of them all: an executive order declaring that the United States of America would henceforth be known as the United States of Trump.
“It is in the national interest,” the order read, “to acknowledge the greatest leader in American history and ensure future generations understand his unparalleled contributions to this country.” The document extolled Trump’s vision, economic policies, and the way he had “brought back winning.” It cited the renaming of the Gulf as precedent, arguing that geographical and national names must reflect America’s true values and legacy.
Yet, while the Gulf of America and the restoration of Mount McKinley moved forward—adopted by federal agencies and soon appearing on Google Maps—the United States of Trump mysteriously never materialized. The executive order, though drafted, signed, and even printed on the White House website for a brief period, seemed to vanish overnight.
The Vanishing Order
Journalists quickly noticed the disappearance, and speculation ran wild. Some sources within the White House claimed that legal scholars had intervened, warning that such a renaming required a constitutional amendment. Others suggested that state governors—many of whom had just fought lengthy legal battles over federal authority—had quietly but firmly pushed back.
One particularly wild theory alleged that even Trump’s closest advisors had balked. “Sir, while this is of course a brilliant idea,” one anonymous aide was rumored to have said, “it might be better to save it for your next term, when we can ensure a smoother transition.”
Yet, Trump himself never acknowledged the failure. When asked about it in a press conference, he smiled knowingly. “We’re looking at a lot of things, a lot of great things,” he said. “The best people are working on it. You wouldn’t believe how many people want this. People are calling me, writing me letters. Beautiful letters.”
A Nation Divided—By Name
Despite the executive order’s apparent failure, some states took matters into their own hands. Texas, Florida, and several other strongholds of Trump’s political base began unofficially adopting the term United States of Trump in certain government communications. Some county clerks even issued driver’s licenses with the revised name. Meanwhile, other states—particularly in the Northeast and West Coast—vehemently opposed the change, with California passing a law reaffirming its place in the “United States of America, As It Has Always Been Named, And Will Continue to Be Named.”
Online, the divide was even starker. A splinter group on social media—mostly supporters of the renaming—began calling themselves Trumpicans rather than Americans. Hashtags like #USTrump and #MAGAland trended for weeks, while conspiracy theories swirled that the name change had been enacted but was being suppressed by the “deep state.”
The Final Verdict?
Months later, a leaked memo from the Justice Department clarified that the name change had been deemed “legally unworkable” and “likely unenforceable.” But it also contained a curious note:
“While the renaming of the country presents significant constitutional and logistical challenges, the possibility of naming a future state or territory after President Trump remains open for discussion.”
And just like that, the battle over whether America itself should bear Trump’s name faded—only to be replaced by another debate: Would it be better to rename Texas or Florida?
All names of people and organizations appearing in this story are pseudonyms.
Google Maps will change the Gulf of Mexico to the Gulf of America
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